My first attempt at a short story… Pts. 1 & 2

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So this is the first couple sections to the short story I am writing. It’s been a slow process so far. Please note, that is my first draft. I am not letting myself make revisions until I finish. Feel free to post feedback.

[1]

It was still dark when I woke up. The world was pitch black around me, making it even harder for my unfocused eyes to make sense of anything. As my mind struggled to grasp my surroundings, the smell of rain and pine trees only confused me more. I reached to find my cell phone and leaves rustled beneath me. You’ve got to be kidding meNot again. I rolled over and saw the moon through a hole in the top of the trees. It produced just enough light that I could see the dirt on my clothes, my hands, and the blood I just wiped from my brow. I sighed heavily and cursed to myself.  It was only a couple of seconds later when the distant sound of footsteps quickly crunching needles and leaves caught my ear, and I knew it was time to run.

So I ran, or more correctly, I stumbled, through the forest. I could hear the footsteps getting closer, louder. I could feel my breathing get harsher. But I pumped my arms and ran. The foliage quickly became thick and I could barely see anything around me. With nothing but the North Star as my guide, I was almost certain I was lost. However, I knew I could not slow down. The footsteps sounded like they were directly behind me, and if I didn’t reach the—well I don’t know what it is, really. I just knew I needed to get there.

[2]

I had been using so much power and energy to run that when I finally broke out of the thick forest and into the clearing I lost my footing and started to fall forward. Not wanting to lose momentum, I quickly tucked and rolled without ever slowing down. All I needed to do was reach the mysterious blackness at the opposite edge of the clearing—about 100 yards away.

I was half way there when I heard a loud crash. I quickly stole a glance over my shoulder and saw the ominous, black figure struggling to stand up. He made the most awful noise. A scream that would have been loud enough to drown out a crowd in a packed stadium. Immediately after I heard his footsteps. Thump. Thump. Thump. I tried to run faster, but I couldn’t. I was 15 yards from the blackness when I felt his breath rush past me. When I was five feet away, I jumped, prayed I’d make it, and felt his hairy fingers brush my legs. Just out of his grasp. And then I dove into the blackness.

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