winter

her mind has become a leaf

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her mind has become a leaf

each spring
as the sun melts the remnants
of winter’s last storm
a budding though trickles in
sprouting greener than any other

in the summer
that thought flourishes
soaking up the sun and
provides a cool place
for others to lay

but as the heat strengthens
those leaves dry and become brittle
but she doesn’t mind
because she loves the reds and oranges
that surround her

in fact

she can’t think of anything she loves more

when finally
short days are followed by cool nights
and the wind knocks loose the leaves
her mind rests peacefully
knowing this cycle is vital to her survival

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it’s cold

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it’s cold

that’s all I remember
the words whispered in my ear
by the icy breeze
that brought with it a raging winter storm

I had never been so cold before
my feet frozen to the ground
like a wintery snowman
who cannot move until the sun warms him

the coldness trickled up my body
until my heart becomes solid ice
its beating slowed to a calming rhythm
and even the most feather like of touches

could have broken it into shards

the most impossible of outcomes
had befallen me
with neither sun nor the warmth of another soul
I sat that way

it was as if time had stood still

I longed to see the sun fill up the blue skies
smell the flowers as they began to bloom
and feel the warmth of the sun
as the days became longer

but the sun did not come
and the skies remained grey
I remained an icy box
just another part of winter

a creature in its own

you knocked (a December chill)

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you knocked
faintly on my door
whispering truths that would be lies
between the cracks
in the wood
truths with no bounds
you fumbled on the lock
trying again and again
the key that used to work
it was the only key
until your façade began to fade
reverting back to the negative
which cannot be hidden in the darkness
your secrets unbound all at once
a door slammed shut on your face
bolted down
the knocks grew louder
as my heart throbbed it fought
wanting to find a place for you
but my mind
told me it was a trick
just some silly street magic
so I blocked it out
for as long as possible
until my heart gave way
and I found the strength to open the door
but you were gone
and left in your place
was the bitter cold
a December chill

it has been days since we spoke

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it has been days since we spoke

since I felt your touch

or heard my name ever so softly on your lips

 

when you left

a fire was extinguished

its flames snared by the snow that came with December

 

the last lingering of its smoke dissipated

as the new year rung in

 

for months I sat under the shade of the old oak

doing nothing more than

 

wishing

hoping

&

waiting

 

for something to change

for some sign that your leaving was not forever

that you would one day come back and once again free my soul

 

as the seasons changed I watched

looking in at the world around my from a pane of one way glass

so impenetrable it could not be broken by anything

 

or anyone

 

as a bird chirps in the tree above me

the sun in the sky radiates my soul

 

its warmth the only warmth flowing through my veins

weaving through to my heart

 

a heart that has been covered in ice

shut off from the world

 

as small flakes fly off and scratches are made

I feel a change

a shift

in not only myself but the world as well

the hill

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the hill

is his place of comfort

its plush green grass provides a seat unlike any other

soft

warm

cool

it is all that he needs it to be

 

from this spot he watches

 

he watches as the sun slowly starts to hide itself

vibrant green leaves change to red

before falling into piles that dampen your foot

or crunch with every step you take

he watches as the snow fall blankets his world

and covers the tops of the buildings in the city below

 

he watches children chase each other

sprinting ahead at the last minute

 

he watches as traffic stalls in the city

horns blaring and beeping

echoing through the sky

 

when he’s on the hill

he acts as a sponge

soaking in the world around him

continuing to grow

learning how to get by in the world around him

 

each day he descends from the hill is stronger

a better version of himself

and he tries not to let that fade

as he joins the masses on the streets

 

he feels

alone

until the heavy wood door clunks behind him

whisking up an aroma of aged wood and fresh bread

and he feels once again what it is like to breath

when you went away the world got darker

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when you went away the world got darker

a sheet of gray draped in your place

my heart frozen

a future without you seemed dreadful

 

it went on that way for months

whenever I looked you were gone

at times I caught you lingering

but you were too far away

 

your warmth couldn’t reach me

the coldness in my heart

spread to the tips of my fingers and toes

spreading to the world around me

 

the ground became colder with each step

or so it seemed

clouds came and went

but no matter how bright the world got

 

the warmth I so longed for couldn’t be found

 

but one day you came back

I could not only see you

but feel you as well

your warmth radiated inside my soul

 

melted the ice that had held me in place

brought me back to life

 

and I realized that our lives go in cycles

 

people come and go

just as the seasons come and go

just as life comes and go

 

but we can’t keep wondering

about the whens hows and what ifs

we must make of life what we can

and let the warmth of those around us radiate inside our souls

I waited

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I waited

as the snow fell yet again

from the coldest of gray skies

gray skies that were colder than a marble statue

gray skies that held no hope or promise

for what comes next

trapping me

so that all I could do was wait

 

I waited for you

to save me from the cold

wrap your warm arms around me

arms that were strong and protective

arms that would keep me safe

and heat the chill that seeped to my bones

that were frozen in place

refusing to let me move

 

I waited but I didn’t want to

I wanted to be free

like the eagle who soars through the sky

observing the life below it

braving not only the bluest of summer skies

but the stormiest winter ones as well

you acted as the barrier that held me back

even though you didn’t know it

 

I’m still waiting

and I probably always will

when the gray skies are replaced by colorful shades of blue

I’ll stare at them

not being able to see anyone but you

you’ve drawn me in

trapped me in a web

but you didn’t meant to